[LESSONS] The Story of My Optimism

I’ve been thinking about myself and my life. I’ve been thinking about my optimism and what makes me so positive. I’m still thinking about it but I’m trying to put together a few pieces of my life into a story.

So, here we go.

Also, it seems there’s a table of contents.

Have I Been Born This Way?

No, I haven’t. I’m no Lady Gaga.

I hardly believe that people are born with something. This whole cognitive process that each and one of us have is developed thanks to the information we get from our environment. And the deeper those information are, the bigger the IQ is.

From the moment you were born, you were given to your family and that’s when everything was limited. Those limitations helped in defining some parameters – society, education, entourage, and so on.

The way your family gathered some information and the way it was delivered to you, defined you.

More problematic than that is the fact that your parents got their information the same way – from your grandparents – they’ve delivered it to you. Your grandparents from their parents and so on.

This way, you’ve come ‘to own’ information that’s hundreds of years old. I’m not saying it’s bad. All I’m saying is that you should be conscious about it and use it only if it’s necessary.

Otherwise, you’ll end up applying principles that were useful (or not) a few hundred years ago. Principles that today may not work anymore or make no sense.

So, as I’ve said, I haven’t been born as an optimist but I’ve become one.

My parents let me did everything I wanted, when I wanted, how I wanted. They’ve never imposed any limitations and, as a result, I’ve got my left year pierced whrn I was 12 and tattooed my arm around 20. They’ve given me the freedom that I think I needed for feeling good, for being myself.

I have my optimism from my father. Or that’s what I believe.

When I was young and in our family a problem was present, while my mom was acting like a crazy person (moms are always like that) my father was really calm and he was saying that everything was going to be all right. And I think he said it so many times, I’ve taken the information (without consciously wanting it) and made it a key factor for my life.

If my dad would have acted like my mom, maybe right now I would have called myself David The Pessimist or something weird like that.

The fact that everything we do in our lives, after we become teenagers, is based on our first 7 years, makes me think that what we do after the first 7 years is irrelevant.

It makes me think it’s pointless to fight with yourself, because you’re never going to change. It makes me think it’s pointless to read books, because you’re never going to put into practice the information. It makes me think it’s pointless to work, because you’ll never get what you want.

But it’s irrelevant what I think!

What really matters, no matter how you have been born and no matter how your first 7 years were, is to realize that you have so many things to learn, you need people around you, and you are wasting time mostly without doing something beneficial to yourself.

And when you are conscious about all these things, you’d better be fighting for your dreams.

Stand up and fight!

The Moment of Consciousness

Until 6 years ago, I had no idea what passion is and I didn’t know what I want from myself.

Until 6 years ago, I was really shy and I wasn’t able to say something to a girl.

Until 6 years ago, I haven’t read anything and I was barely doing sports – I was a lazy person.

Actually, until 6 years ago, all I was doing was to sit in front of the computer and play games or watch TV shows, without doing anything productive.

At one point (somewhere around 6 years ago) I’ve realized I wasn’t ok. That was the moment of my first step of becoming conscious.

Why I’m saying that? Because between then and the present moment I’ve done lots of things, and some of them are the following:

  • I’ve spoken in front of thousands of people
  • I’ve gathered around me mentors who have helped me develop myself
  • I’ve read over 100 books
  • I ran a semi-marathon, a marathon, and a ultra-marathon
  • I met lots of people with whom I’ve collaborated
  • And many other things

And I’ve managed to achieve them all by setting some strong objectives and working like a mad man towards them. Nothing more – it was that simple.

All the effort, energy, obstacles, experiences, and work transformed me into what I am today: an optimist.

If I would have done nothing, more than sure I would have achieved nothing. Instead, each desire of doing something, dissatisfaction, and action towards my objectives, got me where I am right now.

When I’m looking back to the trigger that turned me into an optimist, I can truly say this: no matter what my objective was, I was able to imagine a successful end – I didn’t care about the obstacles that would have come because I was focused on the success that I was looking for.

And I’m really proud.

But it doesn’t worth anything. My achievements will never be worthy of something. No matter who you are, it doesn’t matter how many things you achieve.

What really matters is how much, with what you achieve, you help others. Your actions without a positive impact on others are simply selfish actions that are meaningless. They won’t help your development at all.

Before and After Failures

Minus with minus always give extra.

I believe this is the theory of failure and it can be applied no matter how many times we fail. If you fail, and you fail again, and again, and then once more, and so on – I assure you that between those failures are successes as well. You just got to see them.

As important as noticing and focusing on successes is how we ignore failures. Both successes and failures are static. But we make them last by focusing on them.

If a failure appears in your life, don’t keep it in your life for the rest of your days. Let it where it spawned, learn from it, and move on.

Instead, we treat our successes like they’re failures.

We just learn from them and that’s it. Sometimes we don’t even learn from them, we just enjoy them. When we enjoy a success is as intense as we enjoy an ice cream: you eat it now, you enjoy it, and later when you realize you’ve gained some weight, the sensation of happiness disappears.

The same happens when you succeed. When one appears, you enjoy it. But as soon as you encounter an obstacle that makes you fail, the sensation of happiness disappears. Instead, if you would have learned something from it, you could have enjoyed it more.

Until I’ve realized I’m an optimist, I’ve got lots of failures. After I’ve realized I’m an optimist, I’ve got the same amount of failures.

One of my biggest frustrations was related to the fact that I can’t change others. That frustration turned into a failure. I remember being 15 or 16 years old and seeing all kind of things that others could improve at themselves.

I was desperately trying to make them see what I was seeing. Most of the times I ended up frustrating myself even more because people were refusing my help.

But there were a few that accepted my help.

In those small moments of achievement I was really happy. And because it was rarely happening, I’ve learned to cherish them more and to enjoy them more.

Learn to cherish your moments of happiness, because happiness is fulfillment.”

Meanwhile, I’ve become conscious about my optimism but that didn’t change the amount of failures I was having. I was still failing but over time my failures started to feel less significant.

One of the questions that I’ve never known how to answer is “what’s your biggest failure?”

It amuses me and, at the same time, I find sad that people are dragging their past failures into their present time. Or at least that’s what I think, since they can still remember their failures.

Forget it’s a failure – treat is as a lesson.

If I’m really thinking about it, the word ‘failure’ shouldn’t even exist. At least not for those people who are still using their brain. You call it a ‘failure’ only if you’re blind and your objective was simply to get from point A to point B.

Instead, if your brain still works, it should tell you that from point A to point B are many others steps that you’re successfully achieving, like A.1, A.2, A.3, and so on.

In life, you don’t encounter failures. You learn lessons.

What Do You Do When You Lose Everything?

What would you do if, exactly in this second, you would lose everything?

How would you react?

Would you start crying? Would you start punching left and right? Would you start swearing? Would you find a solution? Would you give up?

Let me tell you a story which I’ve called “I’m a fool but Windows 10 sucks!”

Everything starts with buying a new laptop, somewhere around 3 years ago. It had Windows 8 preinstalled.

I remember upgrading it to Windows 8.1 and everything seemed great. But, in that period, Windows 10 was just released and lots of pop-ups were displaying on my screen.

And I told myself that I should try it. So I did.

I updated it and my laptop started working really weird. My microphone wasn’t working at all and I had all kind of visual bugs. I decided to reinstall Windows 8.

Then it happened: I’ve lost everything.

The bastard formatted both partitions and I’ve lost everything I’ve had worked in the last 4 years since that point. I remember having more than 3000 texts, unfinished books, and dozens of projects’ files.

And just like that … everything disappeared.

I remember staring at the screen and having the desire to punch my laptop. But doing that would have meant to invest money in buying a new laptop as well. So I had to control myself.

I started laughing like an idiot, staring at the message on the screen that was asking me where I want to install the Windows, having available only one partition.

I haven’t cried, haven’t punched, and haven’t given up.

Yes, I remember that I wanted to do all that. Instead, I chose not to let an obstacle transform into a failure. Why should I let a stupid accident ruin my mood and make me give it all up?

In a one way or another, my mood was ruined for the moment. But I started thinking about what matters, about my objectives and my desires. After all, everything I lost in that moment was nothing more than a result. The result of my work.

I am the only person who can have the same results, even better ones. And I believe this is what matters.

It doesn’t matter how much we lose from what we have. What matter is what we think when we lose everything, so we can get back to that mood that helps us create amazing things and generate even better results than before.

Perseverance through Passion – Always!

When you do what you love, you’re invincible.

This thought I’ve discovered really early, in my 8th grade, when I was supposed to learn some information without understanding anything. The thought strengthened in high school, and it became a principle in college.

I’ve never managed to involve myself for more than a few weeks inside an activity that I didn’t like. Actually, it happened once and I resisted for four months. But it frustrated me so much I was close to mental therapy.

I consider myself a masochist and I like experiencing new things even if there’s mental or physical pain. But I think my limit is right here: doing what I don’t love and doing it so much I don’t have time for my passions.

That is what I consider the most painful thing.

I would rather run 10 hours each day for the rest of my life. I would rather run out of energy by helping others 10 hours every day for the rest of my life. I would rather write 10 hours every day until I won’t be able to feel my fingers, for the rest of my life.

I would rather do all these at the same time instead of doing something I hate. When I do something I don’t like, I get stuck. And getting stuck is going to ruin every piece of optimism I have and transform me into a depressive person.

If I would be a robot, I would be a sad one.

I don’t know how others are when they’re doing what they don’t like but it makes me think I’m a robot.

Every activity should make you feel powered by a solar flame. If your inner fire is not burning, then the mechanism behind your engine is going to automatize so much, you’ll get bored.

The Non-existent Principle of The Impossible

Every time you think you can’t do something, you’re actually finding a reason for not doing it. This way, you remove any skill or opportunity you may have.

The more intelligent you are, the better the reason is for not doing it. The more intelligent you are, the faster you’ll find a reason for not doing something because you consider it impossible.

Actually, nothing is impossible.

I guarantee that you’ll never be able to define your limits because your limits don’t exist. Your organism adapts no matter how hard it will be.

In the end, the capacity of doing things is a responsibility of your mind.

We stop doing things because we’re not capable of seeing, with our mind’s eyes, further than what’s happening tomorrow. If we were capable of seeing the today’s effort in the achievement of the next year, we wouldn’t stop, we wouldn’t search for excuses.

I bet you can run 1000 km next year.

You may say it’s impossible.

Hear yourself for a second: “Who the fuck could run 1000 km in one year? Especially if you are not trained for that. I mean, maybe you could run 100 km but not 1000 km.

Well, running 1000 km in one year means running 2 km and 732 meters each day. You think you can do this?

It’s way easier when you think you have to run 3 km each day, than when you think you have to run 1000 km in one year.

Whatever you think it’s impossible, it is possible.

Not a successful human being, in their adventure of achieving objectives, stopped and said “that’s it, I’m done, this is my limit and I can’t go further”. No, nobody did that!

Things may seem impossible but at the same time there are alternatives.

Stop saying you can’t! Stop being negative! Stop quitting!

Instead of doing all these things, take a break, think, analyze, and look for alternatives. Then continue your work and work until you achieve your objectives.

With every step you’re closer to having the things you desire.

You’re an optimist! We all are!

Want to know why? Because no matter how bad or difficult a situation may be, you’re always thinking that it will improve.

What if …

And, unfortunately, that’s where everything stops. We dream about all types of wonderful stuff. But we just dream about them. Unfortunately, there’s a big difference between dreaming and achieving, between dreamers and optimists. And there are a few specific practical steps that you’ll have to go through.

These steps are the most important steps you’ll ever go through. These are the steps that will break the non-existent principle of the impossible and will define your destiny.

Maybe you’ve tried and you haven’t had any results. Maybe you’ve tried once and got demotivated. Maybe you’ve wanted to try but you didn’t know how.

Start doing!

If you’ve found this article helpful, please share it with your friends on social media platforms. As well, if you have any question or thoughts that you want to share with me, please do it in the comments section below.

Keep learning and growing,

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About the Author:

Interested in the human potential and its capacity of changing its perspectives, David can help you make a change in your life or transform your passion into a business.

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