Lately, I’ve started analyzing people and the relationships I have with people.
And because people are different, I’ve had lots of fun analyzing how they’re interacting with me and with each other.
Moreover, I’ve discovered that people are mean and selfish. Yeah, like this was a secret. Haha.
So, I’ve found three things about people that will make you reconsider your social circle.
Start Reading People And Keep Around Those That Match Your Lifestyle
As I was mentioned earlier (and also in the title of this article) there are three things I would like to share with you about people.
1. DON’T TRY TO CHANGE OTHERS
People have their own life, their own perceptions, and their own mindsets. Things which you won’t be able to change – EVER!
Is someone is too hasty, just saying to that person to ponder a little bit more on his decisions, won’t change him. Actually, the more you’ll critique, the more frustrated that person will become.
If you want that person to become less hasty, show him the benefits of patience by telling some personal stories and being a positive example.
Moreover, the more you try to change someone, the more resources (time, energy, money, etc) you’ll lose. And I’m using the word ‘lose’ because you won’t have any results.
Instead, invest that energy in improving yourself.
But how’s this related to your social circle?
Changing others mean changing yourself. If others don’t let you change yourself, then you should reconsider your social circle.
A person that’s not open to someone else’s changes, won’t be open to his own changes.
Just pay attention to those people that are not letting you to improve your life.
For example, if you want to start running and your friends are making fun of you or they’re always encouraging you not to run, then your friends are not open to your changes.
It doesn’t matter how great of a life you’ll achieve. They’re going to be more envy at you, instead of pursuing the great changes you’ll be achieving.
2. DON’T LET OTHERS CHANGE YOU
First of all, in order to not let others change you, you need to know who you are, what you want and what you need.
Second of all, even if you don’t know who you are, what you want and what you need, don’t let others change you.
If you like to paint and don’t want to finish studies, but your friends are telling you that you need to finish your studies or to quit painting because [insert_reason_here] then you should reconsider your social circle.
Who the fuck knows what’s best for you?
If you’re 25 and you’re still searching for answers, how the fuck could someone who knows you for one or two years have knowledge of what’s best for you?
Yes, it’s easier to listen to others’ advice.
But others’ advice won’t help you. They’ll only lead you to a different path that’s better from their point of view.
Just because your perspective is different, it doesn’t mean you have to change it.
Just because you’re the only one from your social circle that sees the things in a certain way, it doesn’t mean you’re wrong.
If you’re willing to meet other people and know them, you’ll find a few that will encourage you to go your direction. And that encouragement – their support – is a valuable key to your success.
3. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH PEOPLE THAT ARE GIVING BACK
The way you treat others should be the way others treat you.
But that’s not a rule so it’s not always happening.
If you’re helping others too much but you’re not getting help (not even when you ask for it) then you should reconsider your social circle.
It simply means that the people from your social circle don’t care about you or your problems and they choose not to invest energy in helping you.
If that’s so, why are you still there, man?
Why you’re wasting your time with people that are not right for you?
Why you’re playing the good cop while there are only villains?
I get that you love helping others – I do, too – but help those that are appreciating your efforts and are giving back.
Instead, what are you doing?
You’re wasting energy on someone that’s more interested in gossiping and watching TV than helping you. Get a grip!
I’ve Never Had Too Many Friends
But those that are close to me and supporting me are really amazing.
I remember being a weirdo in high school and having only two friends – one that I was playing computer games with and another one that was a friend with me since I was 10.
Being a weirdo (also read as ‘different’) helped me to create patterns and group people regarding their strengths and weaknesses.
In the strengths category, I was adding things like intelligence, charisma, open-mindedness, passion, curiosity, courage and so on.
In the weaknesses category, I was adding things like dumb jokes, violence, vices, hate and so on.
Moreover, I was able to create patterns in specific areas of interests, like patterns related to the facial muscles. And I’ve exercised it so much, I was able to read someone only by looking at his face.
But let’s take it step by step.
Your Thoughts Are Influencing Your Facial Muscles
If you’re more happy than sad, at the corners of your mouth will appear little facial signs created by your smile. That will tell me you’re a happy person, generally speaking.
If you’re more sad than happy, your bottom lip will stay in front of your top lip. That will tell me you’re a sad person, generally speaking.
These facts are not related to having a bad or a good day. They are related to your lifestyle and how you live your life in general.
Your body is communicating with the people around you how you’re feeling, without you even noticing it. And it’s done through facial expressions, gestures, looks, appearances and so on – basically body language.
Now imagine I was able to read all these (and still am) and create patterns.
If You Have A Pattern, Test The Shit Out Of It
Having a pattern is as certain as being a woman and having an orgasm, from a man’s perspective.
The good thing is that you can (and have to) test it.
If you’ve found a pattern that says “people are dumb because they are arrogant” and you’ve reached this conclusion only after you’ve noticed it at three people, then it’s not a pattern.
Having a pattern means gathering information from as many people as you can – maybe more than 1000. And then, test it randomly to see if it’s like that.
4 Patterns That Work For Me
When I’m meeting new people, I’m always testing their personality and values.
This way, I’ll know in less than 5 minutes if that person’s a keeper or not – if he matches my lifestyle.
1. Sex Jokes Are Great
Making sex jokes helps me understand if the person I’m talking to is frustrated or not.
If they laugh, they pass the test. If they start making sex jokes, I’m going to love spending time with them. If they start acting weird, I’m going to make a step backward and throw in another pattern.
2. Fuck With Their Mind
I’m that weird dude that’s asking random weird questions.
Or, at least, that you can think of me.
Instead, my questions are well-thought and they all have a purpose.
When I’m asking something that lacks context, I’m not doing it because I want to be random. I’m doing it because I want to discover how you think and how you respond to that question.
4. Instead Of Talking, I Just Stare
There are lots of moments where I say just one thing and then I wait.
If the person I’m communicating with is saying something and I can see on his face that he’s waiting for my response, I just stare.
Having that moment of pause will make the other person think more and speak more.
So, before moving on, let me know more about your patterns. Share in the comments section below a few patterns that have guided you through life until now.
If you’ve found this article helpful, please share it with your friends on social media platforms. As well, if you have any questions or thoughts that you want to share with me, please do it in the comments section below.
Keep learning and growing,