From time to time, I happen to be part of relationships that are fucked up by one of the persons involved.
I’m quite an impulsive person and most of the relationships I ruined until now happened because I spoke too soon and I didn’t do it with the right manner.
So, before moving on and sharing some thoughts with you, I’d like to mention one thing: both trust and relationships are developed with communication.
When You Mess up Something, You Need To Act
This is the first step. Whenever you do something wrong, you need to act.
For example, let’s say you wanted to get yourself involved in a project and you didn’t finish your tasks. Therefore, you disappointed everyone.
So, what you can do in order to regain their trust?
- First of all, you need to make sure you finish your tasks.
- Right after that, make sure you won’t, ever again, get any responsibilities you can’t manage;
- Finally, you add more value to the table by improving the project’s quality.
Here’s another example.
Let’s say you want a friend’s help, but when he decides to make time for you and give you the desired help, you don’t care about his initiatives and waste his time. Therefore, he won’t trust you anymore and he won’t help you again.
So, what you can do in order to regain his trust?
- First of all, you need to make sure you’re ready to receive some help;
- Right after that, make sure you’ve tried everything your friend proposed;
- Finally, you need to show him some results generated by whatever activity he proposed and you decided to do.
Right After You Act, You Have To Ask
Just because you did something, it doesn’t mean you’ll have everything the way it was.
In the first example, you’ll have to ask for their permission to be part of the project again. In the second example, you’ll have to ask for your friend’s help again.
This is some sort of promise that you’ll have to make sure you won’t break. It’s what makes them think they can trust you again.
So, whatever you do, don’t screw it the second time.
What if You Screw Things the Second Time?
There’s the easy way and the hard way.
The easy way: you forget about that relationship and move on.
Eventually, you’ll find other relationships to screw over and over again. So, don’t worry, you won’t get bored.
The hard way: you admit there’s something wrong with you and take a break.
You apologize but you don’t try to force anything – don’t even think about regaining trust because it won’t happen, at least not right away.
The only thing you’ll have to do is to find ways to improve yourself, as a person. Find more about what made you act the way you did. Try to meditate for a period of time. Do whatever you have to do in order to get better at relationships.
What if You Can’t Regain Trust or Rebuild Relationships?
If you’re over 25, I’m sure you’ve messed up some relationships until now. It happens to everyone.
Being able to manage relationships is closely related to the ability to understanding people. Moreover, it’s closely related to how you live your life, in general.
But no matter how many relationships you’ve screwed until now, you need to constantly do two things:
- Get yourself better at this, especially if you feel bad when it happens.
If you feel bad when it happens, it means your relationships are meaningful to you. Getting better at maintaining a relationship will improve your lifestyle.
- Don’t punish yourself too hard.
Please understand that you’re constantly evolving. The more things you screw up, the better you get at this. Of course, it doesn’t mean you should start messing up your relationships just to get better at this.
Just be patient and keep paying attention to how you treat people.
If you’ve found this article helpful, please share it with your friends on social media platforms. As well, if you have any questions or thoughts that you want to share with me, please do it in the comments section below.
With love and optimism,