If you have ever felt like your life is not what it was supposed to be, then asking yourself some questions is going to bring you some closure.
You may feel like your world is ending, your time is up, or like there is nothing left for you to do with your life. It means that the things you were used to having, have changed in a way or another.
The tendency to whine when things are bad
Let’s say something has changed in your life and you can’t really put your finger on it.
You may suddenly start thinking and here are a few thoughts you may have:
- My life sucks;
- My life is ruined;
- My life will never be the same.
And these are the thoughts only related to your own person. There could also be the situation when you whine while blaming everything and everyone but yourself:
- My friends and family never understood me;
- My boss is stupid because all his decisions are bad for the business and it affects my life;
- My school is making me waste time instead of making me successful.
So, what is so bad about thoughts like this?
(1) It is bad that you may think they should happen anyway because thoughts like these are natural.
(2) It is bad because when you think like that, your subconscious can’t make the difference and it is going get things as you are throwing them.
(3) It is bad because whining never made something or someone change – especially the whiner.
Therefore, instead of whining learn to ask questions. But first, let me share something with you.
The circle of knowledge
Imagine a circle and imagine inside that circle is your whole knowledge.
Everything you know about everything is there. Every belief you have ever had is there. Everyone you know is there. Absolutely everything. That circle of knowledge also contains all your thoughts. The way you think and the thoughts you think are all inside the circle.
Every time you do something, your circle of knowledge is changing its shape and size.
Remember that book that you wanted to read but you have never got to finish it because you thought it was boring? It means all the information you found there, up to the point where you stopped reading, was already in your circle of knowledge and you didn’t have the patience to discover if there is something in that book out of your circle of knowledge.
Remember that conversation with a good friend that you kept interrupting? You did it because you had the feeling that what your friend was going to say was too fucking obvious and you didn’t need more information.
If you have patience, your circle of knowledge will expand
The more patient you are, the more your circle of knowledge will expand. The more your circle of knowledge will expand, the more you will discover. The more you will discover, the better your life will become.
Your life is improved by patience and with patience.
Imagine again your circle of knowledge. As I mentioned before, there are all your thoughts. And because your thoughts are in there, your circle of knowledge also represents your reality.
Now imagine your reality (with everything you know, and do, and think) is as small as a coin. But at one point you meet someone whose reality is as big as a basketball.
Could you imagine how many things you will be able to discover if you are patient enough to discover them while talking with that person?
Whining has a lot to do with the patience connected to your circle of knowledge
First of all, whining is nothing more than the one’s incapability of finding a solution.
Second, whining is the metaphorical explosion someone has when they don’t know what to do.
Thereby, if you are patient enough to listen to others, you may discover information that is related to some future struggles you will have. Just as you had to be patient until the end of this article to find more on how to generate smart questions to ask yourself so you can help yourself when the situation is bad.
The art of asking questions
I am going to use the whining examples I have started this article with.
For every whining situation, you will have the keywords there that will help you generate smart questions. But in order to do that, you will have to write your thoughts down, on a piece of paper.
- My life sucks
Keyword: sucks – connected to the word ‘life’.
Questions: Why does my life suck? When did it start to suck?
- My life will never be the same
Keyword: the same – connected to the words ‘never’ and ‘life’.
Questions: How was my life until now and how has it changed? Though it may never be the same, do I want it to be the same and why?
If you ever encounter any change in your life but you don’t know what is going on, here are some questions to help you overcome the situation:
- What changed?
- Did you change? If yes, in which way, why, and what made you change?
- Did anything else (friends, family, environment, etc) change? If yes, how it impacted you and what was your relationship with it before the change and how is it now?