Have you ever been in an unpleasant situation? Of course you have – we all had.
And the first thing you thought doing was to get out as fast as possible from that situation, right? But the more you run from it, the more it will affect you the second time you’ll encounter it.
Unfortunately, there will be a second time.
For example, you get yourself a job and you start hating it. And then you quit. Who says the next one won’t be even shittier?
In today’s article, I’m going to talk about some perspectives that will help you shift your state of mind and become conscious of some ways you can improve the unpleasant situations.
But first, play this song. And then keep reading.
1. If you hate what you do, do it with a smile on your face
Since I started talking about getting a job you don’t like, I’ll continue with that.
In life, you don’t get to do only what you like. There are people that you’ll have to have unpleasant conversations with. You’ll have projects or tasks you’ll hate. Or you’ll simply be too busy doing things related to work, you’ll lack time for personal activities.
All those scenarios are unpleasant.
So, how do we define unpleasant here?
Well, that’s up to you. The trigger that makes you feel uncomfortable in a certain situation can only be recognized by you. Nobody else can show you that trigger.
Discovering the trigger will help you become more conscious about the unpleasant situations you’ll encounter in the future.
Right after that, you’ll have to force yourself to smile.
Why force yourself to smile? Well, that’s easy.
There’s one thing I’ve always believed about the power of smiling. Whenever we’re feeling good, we’re smiling – and it is happening since we are born and till we’ll die. So, it means that the process of smiling is connected to all our good moments.
Therefore, why not smile in times of struggle so we can improve our mood?
When it comes to things we don’t like, they affect our mood and make us sad, depressed, or unhappy. Right in those moments we have to force ourselves to smile.
So, as a recap, here are two steps:
- When you’re in unpleasant situations, find the trigger of the unpleasant;
- After the trigger is found, force yourself to smile.
But remember not to punish yourself if you can’t do it right away. If you’re not used to smiling spontaneously, at first it will feel weird, awkward, and you’ll think it’s stupid.
2. If you feel anger, provide love
Unpleasant situations sometimes make us angry. It usually happens when we are responsible for others’ problems.
For example, it feels really annoying when your parents got some bank credit that you’ll have to pay because you’re their only child. That credit is certainly not your problem, but in a way you’re feeling responsible.
Those situations would make anyone angry and they can grow into some weird and nasty frustrations.
So, what you got to do in order to avoid frustrations and anger? You start providing love!
Those that are making you angry are not doing it intentionally. Most of them are trying to help you or they are simply sharing their perspectives.
It would be really selfish to force everyone into thinking like you or to help you the way you expect to be helped.
People are different in a really unique way – and the faster you’ll understand it, the better your life will improve.
3. When you feel like going solo, build a team
You may be obsessed with building things. Or you may feel like starting something new.
At first, you’ll want to do it yourself, especially if you’re stubborn. I know I am and there’s no doubt regarding starting things solo.
But there comes a time and a place when you’ll meet amazing people – that’s when you should pay attention.
People come and go, and I’m sure you don’t care too much about those who aren’t standing out of the crowd. But what about the rest of them?
I know you’ve experienced it too.
It happens from time to time to me too. I go to some sort of event and sometimes there’s someone who has such an amazing vibe. I don’t know specifically what it is, but there’s some weird feeling about that person, like I should meet them and start building something beautiful together.
Have you ever had that feeling?
If the answer is yes, I hope you kept that person around and you did something about it. Because that’s the first step to building a team.
The next one is to put away your obsession with making things perfect. From the point you decide to create a team around yourself, they will do their tasks their own way. And if you intervene, you’ll lose your team.
Things start growing if you step out of their way. So, instead of trying to control every little thing, encourage your people to do the best they can.
4. If you feel addicted, be curious and start discovering new things
For me, playing video games represented an addiction.
Right now, I would be playing video games 24/7. Instead, I’m doing so many things.
During a period of 12 months, I write books, I train for marathons, I coach people, I do all sort of challenges, and much more. As well, two weeks ago I’ve started a new 9-to-6 job as a digital strategist and brand and organizational culture developer for a telecom company in the country I’m living in.
I’m not trying to brag about something. All I’m trying to say is that my present moment would have been so different if I would have only played video games.
Instead, I’ve chosen to be curious and I’ve discovered so many things.
But the most important thing I’ve discovered is myself.
If, during a medium-to-big period of time (over a year) you are doing the same thing over and over again, you can call yourself addicted. Yes, it counts too if the only thing you’re doing is your job. You are addicted to your job.
And there’s a negative side of any addiction that nobody will tell you because they don’t care about you. They all care about their programs of getting you out of addiction, but without a specific reason.
Here’s a specific reason to quit your addiction if you were looking for one: the more you do only one thing, the less time and energy you’ll have for doing other stuff.
Life is made for having as many experiences as we can. Don’t be addicted to only one of them.
5. If you can’t make it happen, settle for less
Sometimes, we want so badly to be successful, we end up getting hurt.
But that’s stupid. We should be grateful for being able to be part of such journey. We should feel happy for every step we make towards our success.
Generally speaking, we should be more relaxed.
One of my definitions of success, not so long, was this one: I want to be known by everyone.
That’s stupid especially because it comes from a guy that’s addicted to setting objectives. And that objective is not specific at all.
But then it hit me. I helped a few people until now and I’m still doing it. Maybe I could have done more, but it’s not like I haven’t done anything. Why am I feeling bad?
I was feeling bad without having a good argument – I guess my expectations were too high.
If you can find yourself in this short story, then you should ask yourself one thing: why do you want so bad to be successful too soon?
And one more thing.
Recently, I’ve discovered this quote which helped me become even more relaxed. Hopefully, it will have the same effect on you too.
“A quiet and modest life brings more joy than a pursuit of success bound with constant unrest.” – Albert Einstein
6. If you feel like nothing happens, be patient
Here’s a lesson I’ve learned and relearned in the last two years.
If you force things out, the things that should happen naturally will never happen.
It’s another thing that helped me relax. I was (and still am) a stubborn and impulsive person. But the more I learn about the art of patience, the more I can control my balance.
Again, I believe this is also connected to one’s expectations.
If you expect it to happen too fast, it may not happen at all. Moreover, how closely are you paying attention to the small steps you’re making?
I believe there are two things that are happening.
One. You are not making any steps, not even the smallest step on the Earth, towards your goal. Which means you are a lazy motherfucker!
Two. You aren’t capable of seeing the steps you’re making because your expectations are too high.
That being said, you either have to start doing something, or you have to pay more attention to the smallest things you are doing and be proud of them.