If it is important to you, never give up

For me, personal development is really important and I see it connected to the ability to never give up.

Personal development is a method which can help you to:

• Lose weight when you’re not happy with how you look;
• Make more money when you’re not satisfied with your current income;
• Have better relationships with your current friends or just make new ones.

Personal development is important. But whenever people try to change something at themselves, they try it once or twice and then they stop. They stop because it’s too difficult to change the thing they want to change, or because they don’t know how to change it.

Therefore, people continue living their lives with the problems they have. Which is not healthy at all.

When you end up in such a situation, where you want to change something at yourself and you stop after a few tries, you should look at yourself as a unique person. And because you’re unique, the solution you need is unique.

If you go on Google and search for “how to lose 2 kilograms in one week”, “how to make 10,000 euros in one month”, or “how to make friends in a city where I haven’t been before”, for sure you’ll find many directions so you can advance towards your goal.

But it doesn’t mean that these directions will be perfect for you because you are a unique person.

Everyone who created the content that you find on Google (or anywhere else) and all the advice that your friends are offering you, may help you or may not.

You are a unique human being and I want you to remember this.

Avoid common obstacles and never give up

After you go to Google, search for “I want to lose 5 kilograms next month”, try everything you find there, and realize it’s not working, it doesn’t mean you found a bad strategy or the advice was ill-intended. It means that the strategy you found doesn’t fit your lifestyle, problem, situation, or environment.

Imagine you are vegetarian and you find a way of losing weight just by eating meat. You’ll never try such a method but it doesn’t mean it’s bad.

The same thing applies for every strategy, advice, or solution you find around yourself, on the Internet, or at those close to you.

We try so hard to put into practice all kinds of methods and, when they don’t work, we say that these methods are dumb and we blame the person who suggested the method. If the person you blame is someone close to you and you invested many resources (money, time, energy, etc) in the suggested solution, by blaming that person you will damage the relationship. It doesn’t sound too healthy.

If I find a way of making 1,000 extra euros every month and believe everyone could benefit from this method, then I will share this method with you, especially if we are close friends. But you put it into practice and for you it’s not working. Maybe, from your point of view, it’s too technical. Perhaps you need to learn to things to properly put into practice the method I suggested.

Then you come to me and say “This method is stupid. Stop putting pressure on me with all your methods of making extra money. I don’t understand what I have to do and it’s stupid!”

You eventually stop trying and don’t want to hear anything about ways of making more money because you tried and it’s not for you.

But it’s not about just making money.

It’s about losing weigh.

It’s about making new friends.

It’s about having sex, dating, going to festivals.

It’s about everything.

We all experience failure but most people decide that after one or two tries, their failure is permanent and they accept it in their lives for the rest of their days. And because of that, they’ll keep using their past failures to strengthen the idea that it’s not even worth trying. That’s sad.

When you’re overwhelmed by personal development

When I look at the personal development industry, before anything else, I understand that there are people who try to sell you all kinds of crap.

I also understand that there are too many solutions. There are so many strategies and things you could do to solve your problems that it feels overwhelming. I understand it.

But it is something you should understand as well.

Try to understand that there are people who are trying to sell crap to you and you should find a way to recognize their shit. You should also understand that there are many ways in which you can fix something you’ll probably have to try them all, or at least until you find the one that’s working for you.

I know this is not the first time you read it and you probably agree with it in a way or another. But in a more practical way, when was the last time you wanted to change something at yourself and you decided to quit after two weeks, three months, or two years?

If you really want to make the change, you should never give up.

Why would you stop?

I used to be very impulsive when things didn’t happen my way. And I needed around 10-15 years to find the solution.

And I’m not saying it like … “I worked 15 years to get the results I wanted to get.” I wish nobody has to work that much to get something, without seeing any results before getting there. The best-case scenario would be when you work for a few months, you have a few challenges, you learn something new, advance towards your goal or even solve your problem, and then you move on. You live your life. Problem solved.

You shouldn’t spend 15 years to solve anything. That’s the worst-case scenario.

But, at the same time, if it’s important to you, never give up. You should spend time with your problem. Understand it. Look at it from all the possible angles and keep trying.

And even if you want to stop, don’t! Keep trying.

The power of commitment and continuous effort

Imagine you want to run a marathon (42 kilometers). If you want to be able to run that distance, you’ll have to train.

If you never ran a marathon before, you’ll need many months of training. To run 2 to 4 times every week, for 6 months, is not that easy. You’ll need commitment.

Imagine you start your training and, after 4 months, you stop. What a waste of time and resources. You could have done anything else.

But this example is for something that you would want to add to your life, which is optional.

When it comes to solving your problems, usually you want to take something out of your life. You want to take something negative and throw it out – it can be people, work, or something else.

You want it out of your life.

In such a situation, it’s very important to choose what you do with your resources. If you decide to stop after 4 months, then those months are usually a waste of resources.

Therefore, remember to continue trying.

Remind yourself why you started in the first place.

Remind yourself why you want to have a better life.

And when you remember these things and try again, imagine this time you’ll find the solution needed and stay present in the feeling generated by the idea of finding the solution you need.

That feeling will give you the energy to try again.

With love and optimism,
David