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The part of you that has to die is not yours

For a few years now, I’ve been living with this idea in my head that there are parts of me that have to die so I can grow.

For example, I had to let go of the idea that people should understand me. Maybe they can, but I shouldn’t expect it. I had to let it die so I could move on from the need to have others understand me.

And I did. A few years ago, I let that need go. But that’s not the only part of me that had to die so I could grow. There are many more.

We are all going through this process.

Maybe you are impulsive and you have to let that part of you die so you can have healthier relationships.

Maybe you enjoy fast food too much and you have to let that part of you die so you can have a healthier body.

Maybe you hate spending time with people you don’t resonate with and there’s something about that side of you that has to die so you can get to know people better.

But who put that part of you there?

Who made you impulsive?

Who made you love fast food so much?

Who made you hate people you don’t resonate with?

When you realize it, none of these parts are who you are because, somewhere along your existence, someone or something put them there.

Who or what did it?

That’s a question to meditate on. It’s a question that I don’t have an answer for and I don’t know if having an answer is the right direction.

Right now, from where I stand, it’s not important to understand who or what put all these parts in my life. Maybe it’s something from my childhood. Maybe it’s trauma from a past experience. Maybe it’s a lesson from one of the many heroes I had.

But that’s not important.

What’s important to me right now is to understand that there’s no part of me that has to die because none of it is part of who I am, at my core.

I had this thought recently and as soon as I realized it, my identity went past all these parts of me and I suddenly became aware of one thing: I am nothing.

Fun Fact: 0 % Less Stress

Did you know that optimists experience 77% less stress in daily life?

You are none of these parts of you

You are not impulsive. Something made you impulsive and since then you identify as impulsive.

You are not a perfectionist. Something made you a perfectionist and since then you identify as a perfectionist.

You are not overthinking. Something made you overthink and since then you identify as an overthinker.

Do you get it?

You are none of these things. You are nothing.

But, at the same time, you are more than any of these things.

As soon as you let go of all these parts of you, even the ones that you enjoy, you become your higher self.

The part of you that makes you want to keep identifying with all your parts

I’m sure of one thing: you find everything you read here nice and interesting but you don’t believe it’s for you. And even if you do, you find it hard to let it all go.

But that’s not you. That’s another part of you. It’s your ego.

Your ego needs all these parts that create your identity. Your ego needs you to be impulsive and overthink everything.

Your ego is alive through every little part of you because it needs them to create chaos, drama, and conflict.

Your ego is the guardian that you keep fighting, over and over again, day after day, in a never-ending battle, just so you can create a little balance in your life.

You struggle to let a part of you die for months or even years and, while you spend enormous amounts of resources to reach a point where you can finally let go, your ego watches everything from the shadows and creates new parts for you to identify with.

That’s why it’s a never-ending battle. That’s why you’ll never win.

The job of your ego is to keep all these parts of you active and alive. And the more you try to let them go, the more they are part of your life.

Remember what I said at the beginning of the article?

You are none of these parts because someone or something put them there. They’re not yours.

As soon as you realize none of these parts are actually yours, you realize there’s nothing to let go of and your ego dies because there’s nothing to keep it alive.

With love and optimism,
David

What did you learn?

What are some valuable things you learned about the part of you that has to die?

I would love to know what you think, so share your insights with me using the form below.

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