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The downside of doing everything yourself

Since I’ve known myself, I’ve always wanted to learn more and be good at doing things by myself and I believed that if you do everything yourself, you’re going to live a better life.

When I was a child, I remember that I wanted to do lots of things but nobody wanted to join me. And the more I was interested in doing things, the fewer people wanted to spend time with me. In short, I guess that’s why I ended up doing everything myself.

But there’s more to it and I’ll dig a little deeper in this article.

Over the years, I’ve gathered many skills. And with every skill, I gathered at least one story.

The thing is, every skill that I worked for in the past is still something I enjoy doing. I may not use most of them right now but if I ever get the opportunity to use them again, there’s a big chance I’ll take that opportunity.

Without trying to brag too much about it, here are some of the skills I have: project management, coaching, digital marketing and marketing automation, copywriting, book writing and publishing, entrepreneurship, photoshop, web development, public speaking, fundraising, coaching.

While some of you may be amazed, I believe I still have much to learn. For example, I want to learn video editing, character animation, and graphic design. These three are on the top of my list.

Even more, while you may think this is interesting, I have to say I’ve had both advantages and disadvantages.

From zero to hero when you’re doing everything yourself

When it comes to the cool things behind doing everything by myself, I have to say I’m proud of most of them and, overall, they helped me build a little bit of self-confidence.

Rapid growth

This is one of the things I believe is the most important when you do everything yourself.

For example, let’s say you want to make your passion visible to others with the purpose of making some money. If your passion is knitting and you craft scarfs, then your purpose would be to sell your scarfs.

You’ll have to think of some ways to sell them and, to name a few, you may have to build yourself a website, create a business profile on Facebook for your passion, write texts to describe your products and passion, take professional photos of your scarfs, and so on.

You’ll have to learn to do all these things. And that’s amazing!

If you think it’s boring, then you won’t be able to sell any of your scarves. If you think it’s overwhelming, take it step by step.

When you learn something new, whether it’s one skill or ten skills, you have to be aware of your learning pace. People will always try to provide you with some deadlines but you shouldn’t listen to them.

In my case, when I wanted to learn ReactJS, a JavaScript framework, with the purpose of coding some complex applications, people said that it would take me a few months to get there. But after three months and not so many results I decided to focus on something else. That’s when I realized that I have to set my own deadlines.

I’m the only one I have to trust

Trusting others is a big thing for me. Maybe it has something to do with my childhood, maybe it doesn’t.

But when I have all these skills, I am able to look at things in a specific manner and do them in a specific time frame. In case I have to trust someone else with my tasks, I have to take the risk of not having the task completed in a certain way – or worse, not having it completed at all.

The way we look at what we do has a lot to do with standards and deadlines.

In my case, deadlines are vital and standards are crucial. If you do things just to have them done, you may reach the deadline but there’s no standard. If you try too hard to reach a standard you may go past the deadline.

And I’m not comparing others with myself. I’m just trying not to have reasons for trusting others with anything that’s important to me.

When I do everything myself, I’m the only one I have to trust.

I’m the only one to blame

This goes hand in hand with the previous point. When things go wrong, I’m the only one I can blame.

And I believe that’s amazing.

The desire to blame someone else just so I can feel like I’m not responsible for my failures is sometimes present. And even though it may provide me a comfortable feeling – putting the blame on someone else, because I don’t have to deal with it – taking the blame is actually helping me realize that I am responsible.

Right after that, I look for the things I did wrong and for solutions to improve the situation.

I’ve worked with people before (not because I wanted but because the project required) and I’ve seen people blaming everyone else but themselves. The thing is, when you’re part of a team and something goes wrong, then is everyone’s fault because everyone contributes to that activity.

But people usually see themselves as part of something only when that something is successful because people like to be associated with successful things or people.

I have an overview of the whole process

Being able to think of a complex project and implement it by myself feels really nice.

I’ve always been interested in how things work and I’ve always wanted to learn more about the mechanics of the things that you can’t see right away.

For example, I started learning programming because I wanted to know how you can create your own website, even though there are platforms that are helping you create your website without any programming skills.

When I do that, I get a grasp of the whole process and understanding it helps me in building even more things in new directions.

Fun Fact: 0 % Higher Job Satisfaction

Did you know that optimists report 37% higher job satisfaction?

The downside of doing everything yourself

As much as I like doing everything myself, there are a few things I don’t really like but somehow I got comfortable with them.

The more I do everything myself, the more I like doing things myself and, after all, this working methodology is part of my lifestyle.

No brainstorming

Doing everything yourself means having nobody to brainstorm with.

In a previous article, I talked about the circle of knowledge and its importance in having access to new information. That’s what brainstorming does – it provides you access to new information that’s not part of your circle of knowledge.

When you work alone, you can say goodbye to brainstorming.

There are moments when I’d like to have someone to share my ideas with and discuss them properly. But I have to accept the fact that I decided to work alone and I have nobody to brainstorm with.

And even though I have some friends that would be able to help, it’s not the same when you have someone who knows your project back and forth and can provide some proper insights.

After all, two brains are better than one. Even more, if those brains are connected to the same project for a longer period of time.

Doing everything yourself means you’re alone

When you’re doing everything yourself, you are alone. Period.

You may say that you only do things yourself when you are talking about business or professional activities. But the time invested in doing things alone professionally will help you create a mindset of doing things by yourself. And you will use the same mindset when it comes to the personal aspect of your life.

Therefore, you may be alone not just when it comes to working but also when it comes to your social life.

By saying alone, I don’t mean not having anyone around you. I mean that you just do most of the things on your own – like shopping, cooking and so on.

And if you’re not comfortable with spending time with yourself, it’s going to be way too hard to do everything yourself.

In my case, I love to spend time with myself and I really like the silence. For me, it’s not hard at all to be alone.

The slow pace of working

As much as you will miss brainstorming, you will feel like you are going too slow.

When you want things to happen fast, you have to remember to have patience. After all, it’s not a sprint but a marathon.

There are moments when I want to do things in the most efficient manner but after I put a decent dose of pressure on myself, I remember that I simply can’t work at the pace I want to work.

For example, I can’t just get all my books ready for print in one day. It will take at least one week. But when I started doing it, I wanted to finish it that fast.

If you do everything yourself, just remember you are actually doing it yourself and nobody is helping you. Keep that in mind and try to relax.

With love and optimism,

What did you learn?

What are some valuable things you learned about doing everything yourself? 

I would love to know what you think, so share your insights with me using the form below.


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