Did you fail? Here are 3 things to review

If you fail and it keeps happening, there are high chances that you don’t want to try anymore. It happened to me in the past to fail after investing many resources and that failure was so painful that I wanted to quit.

I strongly believe that failure becomes permanent only when we give up and, because of that, we should see failure as a life lesson, not as a permanent obstacle. But the more you get involved, the more difficult it becomes to see failure as something temporary.

With today’s article I want to help you rewrite the definition you have for failure and to continue to do the things you set yourself to do, even though it feels you are sometimes failing.

1. Review the expectations you have connected to what you want

Anything you want comes with a set of expectations.

If you set yourself to run a marathon, the expectation is that you will have to run 42 kilometers, in a limited time, usually 6 or 8 hours, depending on the difficulty of the competition.

If you set yourself to speak in front of people, the expectation is to prepare your speech and to be able to share it in front of an audience. Also under a time frame.

If you set yourself to travel, the expectation is to have the necessary budget for the trip you want to have.

Whatever you desire, it comes with at least one expectation. Some expectations are absolutely normal and necessary, while others are not so easy to spot.

For example, if you set yourself to run a marathon, the expectation could be to finish the marathon in the allowed time frame so you get the medal. Or you could have the expectation to finish the marathon in less than 4 hours so you can break your record. Or you could have the expectation to finish the marathon while running barefoot.

Whatever expectations you may have, become aware of them because they are important for who you are and for who you want to become. Your expectations are connected to the lifestyle you want to have and you should have expectations.

Instead, the unhealthy thing that happens is the way we react when our expectations aren’t met.

If you set yourself to run a marathon in less than 4 hours and you finish it in 4 hours and 15 mins, it means that your expectation haven’t been met.

So, how do you react?

You can quit and say that running marathons is not for you. Or you could train a bit better next time and try again.

The way you react when your expectations are just expectations influences the way your failure impacts your life.

2. Unrewarded effort makes you fail

The more effort you invest in something and the more time passes without seeing any result, the more you feel like failure takes up more space from your life.

In a previous article, I was sharing with you something about the balance between manifesting and working hard. If you feel like the effort you invested is too much, maybe you should take a step back and give the things you want a chance to find you.

Many people are in a constant chase, obsessed, towards what they desire. For most of them, this constant chase is working.

But when you experience failure, that obsession turns into frustration, frustration into helplessness, and helplessness into depression and pessimism.

If you feel like you are getting close to failure again, try to relax and understand how you can dose your efforts so you won’t fail.

3. The distance traveled to the goal

I was talking earlier about how, for everything we set ourselves, there is at least one expectation. These expectations can be connected to the goals we have, or they can be on their own.

However they are, there is a space between the present moment and the moment in which the expectation is met.

When your expectations are connected to your goals, they are easier to notice.

For example, if you set yourself to run a marathon, the expectation to finish the marathon in 6 hours is easy to notice. But the expectation to finish the marathon without injuring yourself is not so obvious, even if it’s important.

The distance you travel until your expectations are met is just as important as the effort you invest.

When it comes to success and failure, the most common reason why people fail is giving up.

Giving up is about the distance you have to travel until you achieve your goals (and your expectations are met) and how consistent you can be with your actions and efforts until you get there.

With love and optimism,
David