The right people are actually those who are able and capable to match your needs. Otherwise, they wouldn’t be the right people – they would be just people who can partially help you.
The right people are those people who can match your needs.
How do you actually find the right people?
First of all, you have to know your needs and be completely aware of what your needs are, and start from there.
For example, if one of your main needs is to build a business then you should describe more precisely this specific need and then try to find people who can match whatever you need.
In business, you need an accountant, a legal person, someone who can market your business and someone else who can make sales, and so on. You’ll have to find people who can match all these roles. In this case is clear what you have to do to run a business because there are all these roles that if you match correctly, you can have a business that eventually will become successful.
The same thing doesn’t work when it comes to your personal life because there are two primary roles that any of us have to match: the friend role and the boy/girlfriend role. These two are the most important ones because we are social creatures and we need these two roles in our lives.
When it comes to friends and intimate relationships, things get a little bit complicated because the role of a friend should match some specific needs. Of course, you want your friend to be trustworthy, supportive, and so on. But there’s more than that.
And I’ll mention one more time what I have already mentioned: it’s about knowing what you want and finding those who are capable to match your needs.
That’s the first thing – having the right people in your life. But it happens that most of the time we don’t have the right people in our lives and I guess that’s why we have more than one or two friends.
Just one person can’t match all of our needs. That would be amazing but people are so different it can’t happen.
We have one or two friends whom we’re mostly traveling with. We have another one or two friends whom we’re mostly socializing and drinking beers with. We have another one or two friends whom we’re mostly developing projects with. We have another one or two friends whom we’re mostly playing football with. And the list goes on.
This being said, we have different friends for different needs. And you can’t match those different friends between them. For example, with those whom you’re playing football with you can’t go traveling because they don’t have that interest and they can’t match your need.
Having in mind the fact that you need all these different friends to match your needs, I find it really difficult to find and choose that person who is supposed to be part of your life in an intimate way – your boy/girlfriend – because they’re going to have to match most of your needs.
The ideal relationship would be with someone with whom you could travel, develop projects, run a business, or whatever you’re interested in. It would be someone who could match more than just one of your needs. After all, that’s how you spend time together, right? The more things you have in common and the more you can help each other, the more will be able to build something together and call that a relationship.
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To wrap things up, I believe that finding the right people for your needs has a lot to do with knowing what your needs are and being able to find specific people to match your specific needs. At the same time, without forcing someone to match more than one of your needs.
Then you may ask yourself where you find all these people.
That’s the easiest part – the process of finding them – because the hardest part is the process of choosing them and deciding if a person is good for your life or not.
So, how do you find them?
You find them at social events and through the people you already know. If you want to meet people who are interested in traveling, then you can go to a conference that talks about traveling and you start networking with people. Or if you are interested in finding people with whom you can go to concerts, then you start going to concerts.
It would be hard at first because you may be in a situation where you would have to do things by yourself. If you don’t want to do it alone, you may have to risk a friendship and actually ask a friend to match another need of yours.
For example, you have someone with whom you’re going out and drinking some beers, then you may force that friendship and ask that person if he or she would want to come with you at the concert.
That’s the easiest part. You’ll meet lots of people.
The hardest part is when you’re asking someone to match another need of yours because you are actually trying to change them. They may not want to do whatever you want to do. And the more you’re putting pressure on the other person to match one of your needs, the more you’ll try to change them.
With love and optimism,
What did you learn?
What are some valuable things you learned about finding the right people?
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