In the interactions I’ve had with people, I’ve noticed that when they encounter an obstacle, people usually condition themselves to that obstacle. But sometimes it’s not even an obstacle involved and people are doing the same thing and I believe they should stop conditioning themselves.
Oftentimes, by simply conditioning ourselves to something, we end up limiting whatever we could discover.
When I’m in a situation like this, I try to become conscious of the thing I just conditioned myself to (either it’s an obstacle or something else) so I can be aware of whatever may be left undiscovered.
Looking back at my life experiences, I can say that obstacles and the way we condition ourselves to them are limiting our development and, eventually, because of it we get stuck in a comfort zone that has nothing to do with the desired lifestyle.
Here are 5 situations that I’ve been in or I’ve seen at others.
1. If you haven’t finished your studies you believe you’re stupid
In this case, the lack of studies may make you think of yourself as a dumb person. On the other hand, the presence of studies may make you think of yourself as a smart person.
But both directions can be wrong.
I’ve had gotten many strong negative reactions from others when I decided to quit the education provided by a traditional learning system. I simply wanted to learn things by myself, in a way I believed it was best for me.
At the same time, I’ve seen many people finishing their college education and then being in a situation where they can’t find a job. Eventually, they reach a point where they don’t understand how the effort made in a few years of study in a traditional learning system isn’t helping them at all.
2. If you kiss someone you believe you’re in a relationship
It happens that when you don’t know what you want, to want the first thing that seems to be good for you.
When you date someone and you like him or her, you may end up kissing that person. Therefore, you may believe that the kiss is more than what it actually is, without knowing what the other person is actually feeling.
This way, what seems to be a nice thing will eventually become an obstacle because that relationship is not wanted by both parties. At the same time, just because you see it as a good thing, it doesn’t mean that you are ready for a relationship.
By conditioning your next steps (relationship) to what just happened (kiss) you remove the possibility of anything else to happen. This way, you end up having expectations that may have nothing to do with what you actually want. Can you see how, if you stop conditioning, you end up in a better situation?
3. If you have a mental/emotional problem you believe you’re crazy
I’ve never mentioned this before, but I’ve been recently diagnosed with borderline personality disorder.
When I tell people about this personality disorder and the way it affects my life, most of them are weirdly looking at me like I am some crazy person.
But sadder than that is when you discover you have such a problem and you tell yourself you are the crazy one.
The life you’re living is not limited to your problems. Therefore, conditioning yourself like this will eventually limit your whole existence down to a single problem, which is stupid and you should stop conditioning yourself.
If you are in a situation where you believe you are only living your problems, it would be ideal to stop and realize you’re not crazy. Instead, define your problem and try to come up with a solution.
4. If you don’t have money you believe you’re not successful
This is the most common type of conditioning you’ll ever meet. And you’ve probably experimented it until now.
It happens to reach certain moments when we lose our job or when we miss a business opportunity. Even simpler than that, we may not know how to make money.
I’ve met people who are extraordinarily passionate about something (dancing, writing, painting, and more – skills that can be monetized) but it doesn’t mean that they know how to attract others who are willing to pay for that specific skill.
This way, you’ll end up conditioning your success to how much money you’re making, instead of how great your skills are. That’s why it’s recommended to stop conditioning yourself to it.
Even though we’re living in a society that matches success with making money, this is a myth. From a point on, either you’re making 1000 euros or 10000 euros, you may be using the same skills, with the same amount of time and effort invested.
In case you are in a situation like this, it would be ideal if you won’t reach any conclusion and try not to condition your success to how much money you’re making.
5. If you are too fat you believe nobody likes you
You can replace ‘fat’ with anything that’s related to the physical aspect.
There are people who are becoming obsessed with their own bodies and think that two extra kilograms will make them look in such a way that others will hate them. Actually, it’s just how they see themselves and it has nothing to do with others.
Oftentimes, others don’t really care.
If you are a normal human being and you don’t want a bodybuilder career, then you should realize that when you look at those around you, it doesn’t bother you when they gain a little weight. You won’t even notice it.
With love and optimism,