There are things that happen without your involvement

In this life, there are things that happen without your involvement or planning. To properly illustrate this, I’ll share a story with you.

Between 2021 and 2023, I struggled a lot with losing weight. For whatever reason, I was stuck somewhere around 82–85 kilograms. That was more than I wanted to have, and I really tried to lose weight.

I tried so hard to go below 80 kilograms and my goal was to get to 76, or at least 78. So it shouldn’t have been that difficult, but it was. To get to my goal, I tried so many things. I was eating less and practice lots of sports. Nothing seemed to work.

Now that I look back, I think I know what happened, but back then I couldn’t figure it out. And because of that, I hated myself and my body.

After 2 years of constantly trying to lose weight, I ended up achieving the goal. But it didn’t happen because I set myself to do it – let me explain.

At the beginning of 2023, I set myself that I want to travel to a different city every year. I visited Budapest in February, which I visited for a few days, and then I came back. For the next month, I had Zurich on my list. But a few things happened and I couldn’t do that anymore. I canceled my plans for Zurich two days before the flight and dealt with the new situation.

The time passed and I eventually gave up my initial plan for traveling. But at the beginning of spring, I decided to do a second Camino de Santiago.

I did my first Camino de Santiago in 2022, from Porto, and now I wanted to do it again, but this time from Lisbon. This time, I needed 26 days and walked over 750 kilograms. And yes, I lost weight.

But before Camino de Santiago, I did something stupid and it helped me lose 4 kilograms.

By that I mean that I lost weight in an unhealthy way – gave up on everything that had sugar and carbs and replaced it all with Pepsi Max. It helped me because it didn’t have sugar but I don’t recommend at all this method. So… before starting Camino de Santiago, I had reached 78 kilograms (down from 82) because of Pepsi Max.

Camino de Santiago – the journey that changed my life

As I said, it took me 26 days to walk over 750 kilometers, from Lisbon to Santiago de Compostela. I remember that in the first 7 days I was walking 35-40 kilometers every day.

I didn’t feel the need to eat more than one meal per day and some nuts from LIDL. This was my diet for 26 days, with 2-3 exceptions when I was out with other pilgrims and ate a second time.

I was doing that unconsciously because I never set myself to do Camino de Santiago to lose weight. Even more, considering that before starting Camino de Santiago I was at 78 kilograms (because of my Pepsi Max experiment), I gave up any desire to lose even more weight and just enjoyed the walking experience.

When I got home, I had 71.5 kilograms.

I’m sure that the day I finished Camino de Santiago I was below 70 kilograms, but I stayed for a few days in Santiago de Compostela and ate all kinds of things. So I started gaining weight again.

It’s amazing how, without setting a goal like “I will do Camino de Santiago to lose 10 kilograms” and without caring too much, I lost weight.

My conclusion from back then (and I still think like this) was that in life we get to have things happen for us, without our involvement or planning. Even if you could say it was my involvement because I walked so many kilometers and ate only one meal per day.

Effort and results, without your involvement

I want to go beyond the story itself and talk about the things that have happened. I bet you had experiences in your life where you truly wanted something and worked really hard for it, but without the result you expected. And, at the same time, I bet you had experiences in your life where you didn’t do anything and got the things you wanted without too much effort.

If you think about these paradoxes, it means there are things that happen for you, without you having to do anything or without you being aware of how they entered your life. It’s just you, advancing towards the thing you desire, without knowing you are doing it.

I wanted to write this again because I see people who struggle, doing many things. They want to have a business or to get rid of toxic behaviors that keep them stuck. And they struggle a lot. They struggle to make these things happen because they believe that’s what they have to do.

But maybe it’s not the right strategy. Maybe it’s not the right path.

Before Camino de Santiago, I tried to lose weight in so many ways and nothing seemed to work. For 2-3 years, I struggled with losing weight. And then, in just one month (two actually, if you count the month with the Pepsi Max experiment), I lost more than 10 kilograms.

I was fascinated.

“Something is happening and it doesn’t require my involvement or my presence”, I was telling myself. It made the difference!

With love and optimism,
David