Everything you remember from your past is not what happened in the past, but how you remember what happened in the past. When you think about it, it may seem that everything you know is a lie.
Well, not really everything. You know who your parents are. You know what things you enjoy doing. And, in case you have a dog, you know that last time you gave your dog some broccoli, it barked at you. Or do you?
Our memories are so fragile that the older we get, the harder it is for us to remember everything. While you may be able to remember what you ate this morning, for sure you won’t remember what you ate two weeks ago at breakfast. You’ll only remember it if, while you were eating, something unexpected happened.
And it’s absolutely normal. It’s fine if you don’t remember every detail of your life – you don’t need most of your life details anyway. Who cares if 10 years ago you wear a blue or a red shirt? Nobody.
But, at the same time, we don’t really like not knowing something. In case we’re supposed to remember something we don’t remember, we’ll do everything possible to make sure we remember. But how are you going to remember something you can’t really remember? By lying about it.
Imagine you have a fight with a friend and, two months later, your friend decides that they want to talk about it. Suddenly, you’re supposed to remember why you yelled at your friend. In most cases, you won’t remember. You’ll have to think really hard and focus to remember something relevant to why you yelled and then…
Then you’re going to lie about it.
But you’re not going to lie because you want to lie to your friend. You’ll just need to know the unknowable so you’ll come up with something that you believe is true but in reality it didn’t really happen.
When you realize it, you can either laugh about it or start crying
Imagine you are 5 years younger than you are right now.
You have this friend, let’s call her Sarah, who is always late and no matter how much you’re trying to explain to Sarah that you’d like her to be on time, she is always late.
The more you explain it, the more frustrated you get. Once, Sarah is two hours late and you start yelling at her, telling her how bad of a friend she is.
Fast forward to the present moment, for a second you remember Sarah and you feel like you miss her. But then a negative feeling of hatred comes to the surface because you remember how she used to be late every single time.
Everything here seems clear, right? I’m sure you had at least one friend in your life who drove you crazy with something they did. And I’m sure with at least one of these friends you stopped talking.
Now, if you start remembering the reason you stopped being friends, do you think you can remember every single detail? Even more, do you think that what you’ll remember will be what really happened or will you fill in the details because it’s hard to admit you don’t really remember?
But there’s something even more important in the middle of all this chaos.
During all these years, you may have remembered the event and every time you remembered it, you went through all the details again, just to make sure you are sure about what happened. But every time you’re remembering something, you’re actually rewriting it.
It’s never the same. Never.
You always get to change a few details about your story and you don’t do it consciously. It’s absolutely normal for you to change the details of the story because the story is not told by the same person you were 5 years ago but by who you are today.
Therefore, you get to a place where you believe everything you’re saying, even though it is not the same thing that really happened.
To put it differently, you are mad today at something you believe it happened 5 years ago but it really didn’t. All that anger and madness is fueled by something that’s not real. Every single piece of all the negative feelings that you’re having are nothing more than illusions connected to stories that you’re telling yourself.
When you realize it, you can either laugh about it or start crying. More than that, realizing the illusion you’ve created around yourself is something that should set you free. When you finally understand that all the negative emotions you’re experimenting are connected to a past that doesn’t exist, you are finally free.
Everything is a lie except for this one thing
In all this chaos, there’s something that represents the truth and that’s the present moment.
The present moment is clear, true, sincere, honest and it’s the only real thing in your life. What is happening right now, at this very moment, is the only thing you should trust. Everything else is something that you should stay away from.
As long as you stay connected to the present moment and you keep your distance from everything else, you’ll live in the present moment, where all the negative from the past makes no sense.
With love and optimism,