When it comes to the important relationships you have in your life, you may think that the important ones are with your friends and family. Actually, your friends and family are part only of one category and we’re going to approach them all.

To better understand the most important relationships in your life, I decided to break them down into two big areas:

  • The first one includes the brain, the body, and the persona;
  • The second one includes you, others, and the universe.

We’ll start with the first one and see what are the important relationships you have there then we’ll move to the second one and do the same thing.

Your brain, your body, and your persona

Your brain is what holds the information that you are receiving from outside and inside your body. Your body is what is helping your brain transform thoughts into action. Your persona is the connection between thoughts and feelings, combined with your values, needs, and desires.

In this first case, when you think of yourself, do you identify more with your brain, your body, or with your persona?

Or, to put it differently, think about the activities you’re doing on a weekly basis. Do these activities require your brain, your body, or your persona more?

For example, if in the last month you’ve been writing articles, using excel spreads, building websites, meditating, reading, then it means your brain is the most active of the three and that’s where your main relationship is. You are prioritizing your brain over your body and persona, and your brain is what is controlling your life.

If in the last month you’ve been running, dancing, painting, hiking, skydiving, then it means your body is the most active of the three and that’s where your main relationship is. You are prioritizing your body over your brain and persona, and your body is what is controlling your life.

If in the last month you’ve been emotionally engaged with what’s going on around you and you’ve connected yourself to what you’ve been doing, then it means your persona is the most active of the three and that’s where your main relationship is. You are prioritizing your persona over your brain and body, and your persona is what is controlling your life.

There are activities where your brain is needed more than your body and vice-versa, but it’s up to you to realize which of the two you are ignoring.

At the same time, there are many moments where you are doing something, physically or mentally without being at all connected to what you’re doing.

Therefore, balance is needed.

If your main important relationship is with your brain but you’re trying to do something with your body

You’ll find it very unpleasant because while you’ll mainly need your body, your brain will be in control.

Imagine trying to dance and thinking about the basic steps in a 2-minute choreography. Imagine trying to run a marathon and thinking about every step you’re making towards the 42-kilometer mark.

The more you think when you have to do something, the harder it will be for you to do that specific thing. This is what happens when your main relationship is with your brain but suddenly you need to have a qualitative relationship with your body as well.

If your main important relationship is with your brain but you’re trying to do something with your persona

You will try to define the connection using your body and that’s where you’ll notice the struggle. Having the main relationship with your brain and not having a relationship with your persona is what will make your brain take over your persona and try to put words on every emotion or feeling.

Imagine trying to fall in love with someone and not feeling anything but only having the information about what love is regarding that person.

The more you try to connect with others through your brain and only that way, the harder it will be for you to have a relationship with others. Your actions will be mechanical and not at all natural.

If your main important relationship is with your body but you’re trying to do something with your brain

You will have this amazing energy that will push you towards all kinds of activities. But if your brain is not there to guide your way, you will end up wasting your energy on all these activities without understanding where you’re going.

Imagine trying to run a marathon but not staying on track. The more you run off track, the longer it will take you to get back on it, if your relationship with your brain is poor or doesn’t exist.

If your main important relationship is with your body but you’re trying to do something with your persona

You will have the impulse of trying to be friends with others and connect with them emotionally but your body won’t let you. As long as your body wants to express feelings but it doesn’t know what to express (because your relationship with your persona is poor or doesn’t exist), you won’t be able to get close to others.

Imagine feeling like hugging someone but every time you try it, your body gets in control and makes you leave the room.

The more you try to connect with others without understanding the feelings your persona needs, the more frustrated you’ll get because your body won’t let you get close to those you’re trying to connect with.

If your main relationship is with your persona but you’re trying to do something with your body or brain

You will try to express your feelings through gestures but as soon as you try something, you are seen as a weird person because your gestures won’t match others’ expectations on how to behave socially.

Imagine trying to kiss someone on the first date, after the first 5 minutes, just because you feel something special about your date. If you would have had a relationship with your body, the kissing action will only be a matter of thought because your body would have stopped you. If you would have had a relationship with your brain as well, you would have understood that others may need more time to feel close to you.

The more you let your emotions control your brain and body, the harder it will be for you to have great and important relationships in your life because others will see you emotionally unstable.

I hope that now you are looking at yourself with a better perspective and that you will take into consideration your brain, your body, and your persona when you’re trying to improve yourself, so you can have inner balance.

Let’s move on to the second area.

You, others, and the universe

You, others, and the universe are another three important relationships you have.

The relationship you have with yourself, the relationship you have with others, and the relationship you have with the universe (or nature) – these are all important relationships.

We discussed before the relationship you have with yourself, through your brain, body, and persona.

The relationship you have with others also influences the relationship you have with yourself.

For example, when it comes to the expectations you have from others, if they don’t reach your expectations, you suddenly start having a negative mood. Therefore, the relationship you have with others influences the relationship you have with yourself.

Or, as another example, if you’re feeling like you need to attach yourself too much to others and you feel like you need to always spend time with others, then this means that you need the existence of others so you can exist. If others are not around you and you’re not constantly surrounded by people, you feel less and less alive.

But as long as you have a great relationship with yourself (your brain, body, and persona), others won’t be able to influence the relationship you have with yourself anymore.

And finally, there’s the relationship you have with the universe or nature.

If you want to test how is good is the relationship you have with the universe or nature, go to a place full of trees and try to see if you enjoy it. Or spend time watching the sunrise or sunset. If you enjoy these kinds of activities, then your relationship with the universe or nature is how it should be.

How to make sure your glass is always full

In life, we never get to experience a full downside.

You will always have a relationship with one of at least of the following: brain, body, or persona. At the same time, you will always have a relationship with one of the following: yourself, others, or the universe.

As long as your relationship with yourself is great (and here I mean with all the three internal components: brain, body, persona), it doesn’t really matter if the relationship with others is bad because you can always go back to the relationship you have with yourself.

For example, imagine you agree with someone to meet in a park and they arrive 35 minutes late. If you are not usually a patient person and you hate when others are late, the relationship you have with them will affect the relationship you have with yourself. Unless… you start focusing on yourself.

At that moment, you have to stop focusing on how much others are late (in other words, detach yourself from the relationship you have with them) and start focusing on the relationship you have with yourself or with the universe. In short, start reading something or admiring nature. It will take your mind off of something you can’t control.

With love and optimism,
David

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