We live in a society where we’ve been taught to compare ourselves with everything. We compare ourselves with others and with what they have. Because, in the end, nobody will like you the way you are because society wants you to know that just the way you are is not enough. And that’s the biggest lie you’ve been told.
If you want to be liked by others, you have to change and you have to adapt. You have to change your personality or the way you look. It’s sad to see so many people wearing makeup just to ‘hide some imperfection’.
That imperfection makes you who you are. You are not perfect and you will never be perfect. Your imperfections are an important part of your personality and they are going to help you become an amazing person if you let them.
We’ve been told that we should strive for being perfect.
In society’s eyes, being perfect means being identical to the examples it provides. If you are different than those examples, it means you are not perfect and you have to change something at yourself.
But you should see perfection as being unique and you should strive for being unique.
Don’t focus on your looks
If you focus on how you look, you’ll end up in a situation where you’ll look like everyone else.
You don’t like your clothes? You’ll go to the closest mall and you’ll buy yourself some clothes.
You don’t like your lips? You’ll go to the most skilled plastic surgeon and they’ll fix your lips.
And you end up doing what everyone else does so you’ll be like everyone else. Instead, you should focus on how you feel.
You may say that if you don’t like your looks, you may not feel good but that is part of the lie you’ve been told.
You should focus on HOW YOU FEEL, not on how your looks are making you feel. You’ll be able to choose your clothes not because you want to look good, but because you want to match your clothes with how you feel.
Good vs. bad vs. perfect — just the way you are is enough
As mentioned before, you’ve been taught that perfection is something you should strive for and being perfect could mean being like many others out there.
But before that, you are taught that things are good or bad, right?
If you usually believe that things are either good or bad, you’re in a place where your life is full of pain and suffering.
Things are not good or bad. Things are just things and THE WAY YOU LOOK AT THEM makes them good or bad. Which means it is you who is deciding what is good or bad.
The same thing happens when you look at yourself. You are not good or bad but the way you look at yourself dictates if something is wrong with you or not.
We’ve been taught that nobody will like us the way we are. And that is the biggest lie we’ve been told.
People will like you the way you are, as long as you are not mean to them. But because you don’t like the way you are, you will be constantly communicating these to other people – which can often be seen as whining.
That means that people don’t like you when you whine and you whine because you don’t like yourself.
For example, you decided that you don’t like your job anymore. While your job is not who you are, it is an important aspect of your life. If you start whining over and over again about how much you hate your job, people will start hating you for that.
And you end up whining because you tag things with ‘good’ or ‘bad’.
Things are not good or bad. They are just things. And you shouldn’t pay too much attention to how things are simply because they are nothing more than just things.
Just as much, there’s nothing bad or good about you because you are more than just ‘good’ or ‘bad’. You are a unique human being and you should realize that’s more to it than just ‘good’ or ‘bad’.
With love and optimism,
David