Depression can be caused by many things and it can be of different types. Therefore, to overcome your depression you have to better understand it first.
When I look at my life, I notice that my past (and sometimes even current) depressions are triggered by a difference between my expectations and the real world.
I’m an idealist and I’ve always put a high-standard stamp on everything I’m looking at. That made it really hard for me to stay away from depression. As a friend said, great people gave high expectations of themselves and this comes with extreme pressure.
I truly believe that whatever you’re dealing with right now, it is triggered by the difference between what you expect and what really happens. The higher the expectation, the greater the depression when the expectation isn’t met.
More than that, you’ll find in this article ways to overcome your depression. But all these ways have only two purposes:
- Help you think less of the unexpected future;
- Help you connect better to the present moment.
But before that, let’s take a look at what may cause depression.
4 common things that cause depression
There are lots of things that may cause depression but I’ve decided to list only a few, maybe the most common ones. The purpose of this article is not to make a list of what causes depression but to create a bit of awareness that feels like the right thing.
1. Break-ups
Break-ups really suck and if you’ve been in love before, you’ll probably agree.
After all, the break-up is this place where your past efforts related to that specific relationship not only end, but they start having no meaning. The more time passes after the break-up, the more you heal but at the same time, the more your past efforts dissolve.
The more important the things you decide to do with your partner are, things like having a home and a family, the more it will hurt when the break-up occurs.
They say that the more you experience something, the better you become at dealing with it. Well, in this case, I hope you get to have as little experience as possible with break-ups simply because they really suck.
2. Death
The death of someone close to us can cause hard depression. The closer you are to that person, the higher the chances you’ll become depressed after they pass away.
Another important factor when it comes to death is how it happened. It’s a big difference between having someone close die in a car accident compared to suiciding.
3. Not having a job you love
This is a really underrated cause of depression and most of us become depressed mostly because of this.
We decide to take a job that provides a high salary and we stay there for the salary. In other words, someone buys our attention and puts it all on the job we have to do. Therefore, you have no attention left to give to your mental health, your needs, and your desires.
4. Loneliness
Being alone is a common cause of depression and it’s probably the most painful one.
Loneliness is what eventually will create a deep black hole inside your soul that you’ll never be able to remove. The lonelier you are, the harder it will be for you to get rid of that
There’s a great study related to loneliness and happiness. It’s called the Harvard Study of Adult Development and it’s been a constant research for more than 80 years. Actually, the study is still running and until now it concluded with one simple idea: The good life is built with good relationships.
Therefore, if you take care of your relationships, your relationships will take care of your life.
Did you know that optimistic individuals have 10% more close friends?
4 quick-n-easy steps to overcome your depression
When it comes to overcoming your depression, there are two things you must know:
- A. There’s no way you’ll be able to overcome any depression in just a few days or weeks. You’ll need months (maybe even years) to properly overcome any depression you may have. Therefore, be patient.
- B. It’s going to be easier if you ask for professional help. While putting into practice the steps you’ll find here may be helpful and eventually get you to the point where there’s no depression, working with a professional is going to make the process more efficient.
Having that said, let’s move on and see what the steps to overcome your depression are.
1. Get out of the house
Go out, do something else than just stay still. Visit a friend in a close city, walk around your neighborhood, and go to the park.
Simply going out of the house will help you focus on something else than your thoughts. The more you focus on how bad your life is, the more you’ll come up with even more reasons for how bad your life is. But none of these reasons may be true – it’s just your depression.
And even if your life is bad, you don’t want to focus on that. After all, you want your life to improve, right? Focus on that.
2. Learn to cook
Learning to cook is a great way to overcome your depression.
While it helps you focus your mind on something else (the cooking process), it also rewards you with a great dose of dopamine because you’re not only feeding your body, but you’re also feeding your need for survival.
Also, it’s going to be really hard to be sad or depressed when the house smells like cookies.
3. Run
No, not away from your problems. That won’t help.
But simply go out and run for a few miles. Running comes with a great boost of serotine and this neurochemical helps you deal better with pain. Soon enough you’ll love running just because it will make you happy.
4. Cold showers
If you want some quick-reward-based-system, cold showers are amazing.
In 2017, I had 12 monthly challenges, one for each month, and January was the month of cold showers. 3 minutes of cold showers, every day, for 30 days.
That’s when I discovered this amazing little secret. Deciding to stay under the cold water for 3 minutes and being able to do it felt like a great success. It’s probably the easiest way to feel successful.
With love and optimism,
David