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Unlock your hidden potential by understanding the Triad of Self

There are three versions of you and they can be found in what you do, what you look for, and what you get without doing or looking for something. Accessing the third will help you unlock your hidden potential.

I was talking to a friend recently about losing parts of you in the past and somehow getting them back later in life.

For me, that happened with my zen state of mind.

Up until 2015 I was able to be relaxed, not pay attention to all the small and negative things around me, and just live my life. Then, somewhere around 2015-2016, something happened and I started losing it. I become impulsive, angry, mad, and anything but zen.

Things stayed like that until recently (autumn of 2022) when all the efforts of getting back to a zen state of mind seemed to come together. It was the sum of me trying to understand myself through different activities (both external and internal), learning new things, doing therapy, changing the city, and so on.

Looking at this whole period of 7 years, I can say one thing: the zen state of mind that I lost wasn’t really lost. For sure, it disappeared and I didn’t find it again – at least not the same, identical, state of mind. Right now, I believe I’m far deeper into what means to be relaxed and connected to myself and it happened because I kept searching for it. But I found something deeper because this time it happened with a lot of intention on my side.

I’ll try to put this into better words with the help of the Triad of Self and hopefully you’ll understand how to unlock your hidden potential.

Triad of self

The Triad of Self: The obvious self

This is the first version of who you are and it’s made of all the obvious things that you do. And before moving on, let me draw some lines around the word obvious so I make sure we’re both on the same page.

For example, imagine you’re out with your best friend, grabbing something to eat. If you tell your friend that you’re hungry and you’re going to order something, then it’s obvious that the next time the waiter comes to your table, you’re going to engage the waiter and ask for a menu.

Here’s another example. Imagine you are a goalkeeper and someone from the enemy team is approaching your gate, trying to score. It’s obvious that you’re going to do your best to defend the gate so the enemy team doesn’t score.

The obvious is a reflection of how you behave in a certain context, based on the requirements and the standards of the context. The obvious is connected to social pressure and to good manners.

If the waiter comes to your table and you don’t even look at them, then that’s bad manners. At the same time, you feel pressure to order something – you can’t just stay there for two hours without ordering or eating anything – it’s part of the standards of the context to order, eat, and eventually leave.

The Triad of Self: The higher self

This is the second version of who you are and it’s made of the things you look for. It’s what drives the behavior of the first version of who you are. But it’s also more than that.

After you order something and the waiter brings you the food, you’re going to enjoy both the food and whatever else is happening in a connection with the food you’re eating. Maybe you’re having a conversation with your friend while eating. Maybe you’re alone and you start feeling the excitement generated by the goals you have for this year.

The higher self is a reflection of what you experience in a certain context, based on what you just did in that context.

But there’s a challenge.

You can never activate your higher self if you are not present.

If you are not present, you can’t enjoy the food you’re eating. You’ll skip it and start thinking about something from your past or future that will generate inner conflict. And instead of connecting deeply with yourself, you’ll generate conflict that will disconnect you from your inner self.

The Triad of Self: The inner self

This is the third version of who you are and it’s made of the things you get as a result of not wanting anything. It’s what happens when you let go and manage to stay connected to the present moment not for a while, but for a longer time.

But I’m not talking about the physical things you get. No, not really.

I’m talking about the inner things you get as a result of not wanting anything. I’m talking about inner peace, calmness, enjoyment, and excitement. I’m talking about experiencing the positive side of life and nothing else.

The obvious self is the version of you who is going to get you the physical things that you want. On the other hand, the inner self is the version of you who is going to help you become who you want to become.

Fun Fact: 0 % Better Sleep

Did you know that optimists have 15% better sleep quality?

How to unlock your hidden potential

Now that you understand a bit better the Triad of Self, here’s a short list of steps to unlock your hidden potential.

Step 1: Become aware of the version that’s in control

Most people are their obvious selves. But the question is, after you approach an activity, can you be present or do you start thinking about your future or past?

If you can’t be present, it means your obvious self is in control.

If you can be present but there are moments when your past or your future are generating unwanted feelings and you have a hard time overcoming them, it means your higher self is in control.

To reach the inner self you have to let go.

Step 2: Understand your intentions

Spend time with yourself and understand why you do the things you do.

Here are some questions to ask yourself:

  • Why is it so important to get the things you’re chasing for?
  • Are you willing to keep chasing things for the rest of your life, having in mind that the thing you think you want may never be the thing you actually need?
  • What are the things connected to your past or future that you keep thinking about?
  • Spend 15 minutes in silence and do your best to let go of the things you’re chasing. Truly believe that you don’t need them anymore in your life. Whatever things you’re chasing on a regular basis, let them go. How do you feel?

Step 3: Understand what it means to live in the present moment

I have written a few articles in the past about living in the present moment that can help you unlock your hidden potential. Here’s the list:

At the same time, I recommend reading The Power of Now and A New Earth, both written by Eckhart Tolle.

With love and optimism,

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