A few weeks ago, I was watching the movie Perfect Days and, besides being a brilliant movie, I realized something. There are many scenes in the movie where the protagonist just stops and looks at nothing. With no specific purpose – just to notice what is there to be noticed.
I like doing that as well. I often sit on a bench and just look at things without wanting anything from that experience. It’s calming and relaxing.
But later that day (in fact, it was night and I was trying to sleep), it hit me. I don’t know if the character from the movie was doing it as a means to be more present, but every single thing he was looking at was present. And presence.
Most people are trying to be present and being present is a challenge for today’s society.
We live in the past, thinking either about how good it was or about the things that we could have done differently. Or, we live in the future, thinking about the things we want and currently don’t have. Our minds are constantly trying to get a hold of something, and that something is never here and now.
All the living things around you are present and they represent the idea of presence.
Look at the dog that barks at you from the other side of the gate.
Look at the cat that’s chasing the mouse.
Look at the bees gathering pollen.
Look at the trees and the leaves dangling in the wind.
Look at the moon and its light.
Look at the snail slowly crossing the street.
Everything is in perfect flow and organically aligned with their true nature. Everything except us, humans.
Jiddu Krishnamurti and many others have been trying to make people understand the idea of presence for many, many years. We are still stuck in our heads.
In the book About Presence – A Journey into Ourselves, by Carlos L’Abbate, Carlos describes the idea of presence as everything that exists. You are present when you are aligned with everything that exists.
While it sounds vague, it is a process. A process of detaching from yourself, understanding that you are not alone and you are connected to everything around you. We are one. We are all part of the same source. And whatever we think we know about ourselves is just a layer of identity that goes on top of the source that connects us all.
From my point of view, this awareness is the first step for noticing presence and becoming present.
Because only after you are aware of something, you can change it. Only after you become aware of what presence is, you can become it.
If there’s no awareness, you are an automated set of behaviors, thoughts, and emotions. You live the same day on repeat, thinking the same thoughts, feeling the same emotions, and having the same behaviors.
Through awareness, you are you. The real you, not the automated version of you.
When you notice presence but can’t become present
I’ve seen this many, many times.
People who understand the importance of presence but are trapped. It’s not like they were not trapped before but now they are aware of the trap they’ve been caught in for their whole life.
That’s because people understand at a rational level what happens, but emotionally they’re still stuck in their automated lives.
When you have the information, it solves the puzzle you’ve been experiencing in your mind. But the emotional puzzle remains unsolved. Because of that, when you try to become present, you understand what it means, in your mind, but you feel stuck. It’s an emotional setback.
Familiarity in our mind and head
We have the familiarity of the mind but we lack the familiarity of the heart.
We know what it means to have a plan and to navigate the world through our actions. We know exactly what it looks like to make one step after another, to get from point A to point B, from location number 1 to location number 2.
But we have no idea what it means to have emotional clarity, mental stability, and stillness. We don’t know how not to let our minds and bodies be dragged into the emotions of the past or future and, because of that, we can’t be present.
It is so familiar to us to do something with our body and to create an action plan in our mind. And, at the opposite pole, we have no clarity whatsoever for how to stay still. We have no point of reference for how stillness feels.
And you may think that I’m talking about not feeling anything. But that’s not the same thing. I’m talking about the pure calmness of the heart that manifests when you are here and now. You won’t find it anywhere else.
So, if you find presence difficult, that’s ok.
Just keep trying. Improve your focus and decide what you give your attention to.
Having presence in your life is something worth striving for.
With love and optimism,
David
